Goodbye Brother

This was written on September 26, 2012...

Tonight I said goodbye to my brother. He is currently sitting at LAX international airport waiting to board his one way flight to the Down Under. This is the third time I have driven with my family to LAX, pulled up to the departure gates, popped the trunk and watched as Taylor swung his backpack on is back. Each time feels different. The first time, I felt kinda afraid for him. The second time I felt excited for him. But this time... its hard for me to explain. It feels surreal... at least that's how my mom described it. I stood there on the curb and watched the sliding glass doors invite him in, then I watched his silhouette disappear behind the frosted glass... and he was gone. Just like that. The past 10 months since Taylor has been back from his last travels, it has been like watching a fish swimming around in a small bowl, fully aware of the outside world but unable to get out and experience it. It wasn't right. He didn't belong here, in Simi Valley, living with mom and dad. He needed to get back out into the world. So in one sense watching him leave this time feels so right. But it also feels more permanent. Like I literally don't know when I will see him again. "Growing up" and "moving out" in the Hay family seems so intense. We do everything big! With Taylor off now, I feel ready to pursue what my next move will be! I have lived in Simi Valley longer than I have lived in any one city since I was 12 (it has been four years). Needless to say I'm feeling the itch to move on. I may not be taking a one way flight to Australia, but I have a feeling I'm in for an adventure all my one very soon. My brother has inspired me more than he knows... probably more than I know. His wanderlust and fearlessness give me an energy and desire to explore the world in my own way. I want to move on with my life and follow where God leads me... I want to hang on for this journey we call life... I want to make my brother proud.